Module 2: Job Stress
Changing your Self-Talk +
When we are stressed or feeling anxious or depressed our self-talk is likely to become more extreme. We are more likely to focus on the negative and expect the worst of situations. Negative self-talk and thinking will not help you or your clients. Positive self-talk and thinking brings energy, hope, and new perspectives to a situation.
Steps to change your self-talk:
- Pay attention to your self-talk.
- Change your negative self-talk.
- Practice a positive self-talk.
- Put the situation into perspective.
To help you look at your own self-talk, we will go over each of these steps in more detail.
Step 1: Pay attention to your self-talk
Rarely do we consciously notice what we’re saying in our minds.
Monitor what your inner voice is saying. Is your self-talk more positive or negative?
If negative, ask yourself:
- Is there actual evidence for what I’m thinking?
- Would I say this to a friend if he or she was in a similar situation?
- Does this thought make me feel bad?
Step 2: Change your negative self-talk
Avoid words like “always”, “never”, “can’t, “should”,“ must”, “dumb”, “stupid” or “hopeless”
Replace negative words with positive action words like: “I will”, “I’ll try”, “I can take this first small step”, etc.
Negativity breeds negativity. Using positive words tells your mind that negativity is unacceptable. Put focus on what you like versus what you don’t like. Focus on what you value, appreciate, and is important to you. Each positive thought can help overpower the negative ones.
Step 3: Practice positive self-talk
The words you use matter; be your own coach!
- “You can …” (or start with your own name).
- “You are calm”.
- “You can figure this out”.
- “You are doing a good job”.
- “You look good today”.
Use short, specific words and be consistent. Your brain remembers best when you use short phrases repeatedly.
Step 4: Put the situation into perspective.
When you start to feel negative thinking, consider asking yourself:
- Am I keeping everything in perspective? Am I jumping to conclusions?
- Are there other ways to look at this situation? For example, Is there anything good about this situation? Is there something I can learn from this?
- Will this thinking help me, my family, or clients?
- Will this matter in five years?
Ethan Kross is the director of the Self-Control and Emotion Laboratory. He conducted research on the impact of positive self-talk on students from the
Students who used the self-talk technique of saying their name or the pronoun “you” performed better under stress than people who used the word "I".
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1. Think about something at work that causes you stress (or times when you put yourself down most often). What positive self-talk message can you say to yourself during those times? (If you need some ideas, review the steps for changing self talk.) 2. Write the positive message and post it somewhere visible as a reminder. Practice saying this positive message to yourself, especially when you feel under stress. 3. Share your message on the discussion board and your experience. |
